Life changing moments….

Today, on my 30th birthday, I experienced one. While this may not sound like the most fun thing to do on such a big birthday, I spent the day on the grandparent tour of a little town in Texas. GP Tour 08 is what I’m calling it. Seriously though, I had not been to my hometown in so long. I actually could not remember the last time I sat down and asked my Papa how he was doing and had the time to take it all in. I am pretty sure the last time I told my Nana “I love you the goodest” was around Mother’s Day. She and I made up words back in the day and we still use them to this day. It is our code – just between the two of us. We always say goodbye this way, but these days we do not say goodbye any more. We say, “I’ll see you soon”. She doesn’t say it anymore, but I see it in her eyes. “See you soon”…those words are so much easier to say than goodbye. Goodbye sounds so final. She is barely hanging on these days. She sleeps so often. Her hearing is all but gone, and getting her to speak to you is very difficult. This woman, this unbelievably strong, dedicated, God-fearing, humble woman is one of the biggest influences of my life. While I see her less and less as I grow older, the memories I have of her touch me like they just happened yesterday.

She shaped the person I have become. Her influence and the bond we share simply bypass generations and time. I have a lump in my throat now just thinking about her. She is so fragile and still so full of emotion and love. Sadly, pain fills her too.

Today I showed her pictures of my new house on my laptop. Since she cannot hear, my Dad wrote down on white board little things about the pictures so she would understand what I was trying to say. This communication – this painfully slow, trying to connect to her mind and heart communication – was exhausting and stimulating all at the same time. I have always had to be patient with her – she has been ill my whole life. She taught me to see past people’s limits. To see the person that could accomplish a feat if only given the time to work at it…a little or a lot of time and encouragement. She used to tell me that was my gift – encouragement. I think she is right, but without her I doubt I would have ever been able to utilize it fully.

So today, on my birthday I went to the nursing home to see her. This woman, who has done so much for me in ways she will never fully comprehend, did not disappoint. At one point we were sitting outside enjoying the cool Texas breeze, and I noticed her lips moving. I asked her what she was saying, and she spoke out loud “I am singing Happy Birthday Amber”. Seeing her smile and actually speak those sweet words were the best birthday present I could ask for. And I wrote that down for her to see.

I get so caught up in life – the errands, the stress, the fast pace of it all. But today, as I looked around the room at all of those old souls enjoying the sound of the piano and the company of visitors I experienced my moment. Life is short and people are all that matter. The rest is just noise.

I love you, Nana. The goodest.